Monthly provocations and practices for transformational leaders. Disrupt the reactive cycle keeping you and your team stuck in the status quo to create real and sustainable change.
Why being a “lazy leader” is strategically smart
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This one goes out to anybody currently looking at a calendar stacked with back-to-back meetings, an inbox with 47 unread messages, and multiple team members waiting for your direction on urgent decisions. I want to tell you that it doesn’t have to be this way, but I doubt you’ll believe me. So instead, let me tell you about the most challenging (and most rewarding) thing I've done in my career. It wasn’t leading a complex organizational transformation or building organizational culture during a global pandemic. It wasn't even starting my own business. The hardest thing I’ve done in my career was learning to coach. To be honest, over the past decade, my coaching training has involved more unlearning than learning. I had to unlearn my consultant's reflex to immediately spot problems and deliver solutions. The addiction to being the person with all the answers. The pressure to project confidence and certainty at all times. For years, my job had been to know, to solve, to do. And I was exceptional at it. What I didn't realize was how this approach had been limiting my leadership. As I learned to not know, to not solve, to not do for my coaching clients, I discovered the core skill I'd been missing as a leader: the ability to develop others, not just direct them. For your sake, but also for your team’s and your business’s, it’s time to start leading like a coach. It’s time to scale yourself. “When you build a coaching habit, you can more easily break out of three vicious circles that plague our workplaces: creating overdependence, getting overwhelmed and becoming disconnected.”―Michael Bungay Stanier, The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever (I give this A+ book to new managers but it’s eye-opening for CEOs too) SUPPORT X CHALLENGEScale YourselfCoaching is the second practice of transformational leadership. Like challenging (last month) and co-creating (next month), coaching requires us to step out of our own story, our own self-orientation, and hold space for the thoughts, feelings and ideas of others. And in the case of coaching, we are also holding space for their growth. This is as strategic as it is generous—it’s how we scale ourselves. Think of it this way: Your team member comes to you with a problem, and you tell them how to solve it. Everybody’s happy, right? But the ROI of that conversation was 1:1—one unit of your time created one unit of value. But when you lead like a coach—not giving answers or advice, but asking questions that inspire new insights and understanding in your colleague—that unit of time has just become more valuable, possibly 4:1 or 6:1. That person may now be able to solve this problem for themselves in the future, saving both of you time and energy many times over. Your investment in developing others multiplies your impact exponentially. And just imagine what it can do for the gridlock in your inbox. But it’s not what most of us are used to. This is why it’s a practice—we have to be intentional about showing up in a new way. Like I said, it’s hard. Here’s a sketch I drew when I found myself struggling to get out of fixer mode. It helped me clarify for myself what was mine and what belonged to my clients. Now it’s the foundation for the Radiant Coaching Model: A coach holds presence. The practice is not to solve problems, but to be fully present with the person in front of you. To see them clearly—not as a problem to be solved, but as someone with untapped possibility. When you focus on presence, you create the space and psychological safety that allows real thinking to happen. You also have an easier time integrating the next two parts of the job… A coach challenges with questions, not directions. Instead of telling someone what to do, ask questions that stretch their thinking. Questions that help them see angles they hadn't considered. Questions that push them slightly beyond their comfort zone—not into panic, but into growth. But questions alone are likely to leave a stressed-out colleague feeling confused or alone, so… A coach supports with structure, not solutions. While you invite them to expand their thinking with powerful questions, you can also provide structures and constraints that focus thinking on what matters most. This is important: You’re providing a framework for productive thinking, not the content of the thinking. The insights, answers, and actions belong to them. When you practice coaching, you get to be what I playfully call a “lazy leader”—doing less so others have the room to do more. I realize this sounds both appealing and terrifying, whether you have perfectionist, know-it-all or people pleaser tendencies. (Or if you’re like me, a mash-up of all three.) But coaching isn't about abdicating responsibility or leaving people stranded. It's about recognizing that when you solve every problem, you rob others of the opportunity to grow. When you provide every answer, you create dependency instead of capability. The person across from you holds the possibility. Your job as a leader is to help them see it. the coach’s toolsself-awareness In Practice: Leading Like a CoachChoose one recurring conversation where you typically provide answers—maybe it's weekly check-ins with a direct report or project planning sessions with the team. This August, experiment with leading these conversations like a coach. Instead of coming with solutions, come with questions. Instead of directing, try developing. Keep it simple. Start by asking one question, and make sure it’s an open question that can’t be answered with yes or no. Also, avoid que-ggestions like “What if we did X?” Keep it open: “What ideas do you have?” Then listen. Really listen. This is where your presence becomes key. If you find your mind wandering, gently bring it back to the person you’re with. Pay attention to what they’re saying, how they’re saying it, and what they might not be saying. Now, if the other person is used to getting solutions from you, they might feel confused or challenged by the question you’re asking. That’s fine (they’ll get used to it), but you can also support their thinking with a bit of structure. “Try coming up with 5 options quickly, and we’ll see what you end up with.” or “Let’s make this big problem smaller. What simple steps can you take this week?” Notice what happens—not just to the quality of solutions, but to the energy in the room. Notice how your team responds when they're invited to think, not just execute. Notice how it feels to not have all the answers. It’s going to feel weird at first. Out-of-control. Scary. Slow. Keep going. Growth rarely happens in a straight line, and coaching conversations can feel messier than directive ones. That’s a feature, not a bug. Remember: The most sustainable leaders aren't the ones who can do everything. They're the ones who can develop everyone. What would become possible in your leadership if you could scale yourself? This month in the Radiant Leader membership, we’ll be leveling-up our leadership by applying this coaching approach to:
August Mini-Retreat: Scale Yourself - Leading Like a CoachThe best leaders don't create followers—they create more leaders. One of the most powerful shifts we can make is the one from doing everything ourselves to truly developing others. In August’s Mini-Retreat, you'll practice with the mindset and tools of master coaches, learning to see potential in others (and yourself) that isn't yet visible. When you learn to think like a coach, every interaction becomes an opportunity to help others grow—while scaling your own impact in ways you never thought possible. THIS Friday, August 8, 2025
Mini-Retreats are free for RadiantLeader.co members, who can RSVP here. 💛 ICYMI: Last Week’s WebinarWe had a brilliant group gather for last week’s free webinar. Together, we exposed the old thinking that leads 78% of change initiatives to fail, and revealed the new mindsets and skillsets necessary to bring forward the change we want (and need) to see. You can catch the recording here: How to Live + Lead in Transformational Times Bonus: You’ll get a preview of the ARC Leadership Lab—the next cohort kicks off in September and there are still a few seats left! Onward together. Kristen Lisanti |
Radiant Change
Monthly provocations and practices for transformational leaders. Disrupt the reactive cycle keeping you and your team stuck in the status quo to create real and sustainable change.
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