It was a real “oh $%#!“ moment.

There I was, sorting through my inbox and scanning the headlines of various newsletters when a familiar phrase caught my eye. A group of BCG consultants had published a new book called How Change Really Works.

Which, as you may recall, is the name of the book I’m currently writing.

In a span of seconds, I had a whole range of thoughts and emotions:

• Sudden panic “Oh $%#!” followed immediately by…
• Surprising relief “Maybe I don’t have to write this book anymore” and then…
• Genuine curiosity “Let me read more about it,” and once I did…
• Clarity “They wrote the consulting version of this book, so I don’t have to.”

You see, throughout the writing process I’d been wrestling with a tension I couldn’t quite reconcile: sharing a message of inside-out change but packaging it from the outside-in, with Fortune 500 case studies and enterprise proof points. It felt like I was trying to write two different books. That is, until BCG took that pressure off. With their book written, I get to focus on mine, which isn’t for the business but for the leader. My book is for you. And now that I’m clear about that, it’s flowing like a river.

I share this panicky but pivotal moment with you as a way of introducing Truth #5 of Radiant Change, which is all about our Inner Leader—the part of us who can witness our reactivity in these moments and make a new choice.

This is how change really works. 😉

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

—Viktor Frankl

TRUTH #5: CHANGE IS INTENTIONAL

Choose Your Operating Mode: Reactive, Responsive or Creative

[Here’s an excerpt from my book-in-progress that I’d love your input on. Kindly hit reply and let me know how this aligns with your experience and what it sparks for you. You may find yourself in the acknowledgements. 💛]

In my years of working with organizations, teams and leaders in times of profound transformation, I’ve come to understand that the greatest obstacle to change isn’t other people’s resistance—though that’s what most of our time, energy and attention get invested in. It’s subtler, harder to see. Not pushback, but a pull. The gravitational force of our own reactive patterns, and by extension, the reactive patterns of the system we’re in. The old norms, the allure of urgency, the seduction of safety.

It’s not our fault. We’re wired for reactivity. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have a choice.

Back in Truth #1 we explored the mindset shift from change happening to me to change happening through me. But in practice, we find that mindset is not enough, nor is this the simple binary it seems to be. Complex beings that we are, it’s more of a spectrum we continually move along.

On the far end of the to me mindset, we are in Reactive mode, which operates mostly on autopilot. On the other end, with through me, is Creative mode, which must be intentionally cultivated through practice. In the middle is Responsive mode, an important middle mode that can be a sort of bridge. These are the three operating modes our system organizes itself around.

As leaders, in any given moment, these are the options we get to choose from.

In Practice: Meet Your Inner Leader

In the flow of our daily lives and work, we tend to think we are acting, reacting and interacting in the only reasonable way. But this is actually where choice comes in—we have more choice than we recognize.

Which mode we’re running on has less to do with what is happening around us than we might think. Instead, our mode is determined by the presence or absence of our Inner Leader.

• In Reactive mode, the Inner Leader is absent or underdeveloped, and we are mostly on autopilot.
• In Responsive mode, the Inner Leader is finding its footing and managing the moment as best it can.
• In Creative mode, the Inner Leader is well established and leading ourselves and others with purpose toward a new reality.

Our Inner Leader is the alternative to autopilot. It is our present moment awareness, and our capacity for choice. It is the part of us that can observe the reactivity in our system in response to an angry email—the tight chest, the hot face, the anxious stomach, the racing mind—and choose not to react. Our Inner Leader may choose instead to step away, to go outside, to connect with a supportive colleague, or simply to not hit send on that fiery reply.

On a deeper level, I think of my Inner Leader as who I really am. Beneath my actions and reactions, beneath my personality and preferences, there is just this awareness. It’s not easy to notice because it is the part of us that notices. It’s quiet, mostly characterized by a sense of spaciousness. Space is something we overlook and underrate.

It’s also the first step toward strengthening our Inner Leader.

While each of us has an Inner Leader capacity, it takes intentional practice to cultivate that capacity into a new way of being. This is the work of a lifetime, overcoming our innate reactivity and defaulting instead to intentional responsiveness, and then to a more spacious awareness and creativity. But it is possible. And we can start now.

Our Inner Leader practice, the cornerstone of everything we do in the Radiant Change community of practice, is simple:

1. Find the space: Create opportunities to connect with and reflect on your operating mode. You can find space by working with a coach, writing in a journal, sitting in meditation, creating art. I know for many busy leaders space feels like a luxury they can’t afford, but if you aren’t willing to create space for self-awareness in your leadership, you will stay Reactive.
2. See more clearly: With a bit of space, you can recognize reactivity when it’s happening, discern between threats that are real vs. perceived, and identify core issues, root causes and unmet needs (as we did in Surfing the Curve in Truth #4).
3. Make new choices: Once you can see more clearly what’s happening within and around you, you can disrupt your autopilot with an intentional choice. In the Radiant Change community of practice, we frame our choices with a Creative leadership intention we set at the start of each year. Here’s a simple tool to help you make your next stress response less Reactive and more Responsive:

The next time [stressful situation] happens,

Instead of [reactive tendency],

I will [responsive action].

[End of excerpt]

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In the book, we'll also dig deep into the Inner Leader's relationship with another part you know all too well: the Inner Critic. It turns out that as our Inner Leader grows stronger, our Inner Critic quiets down. That’s what we’ll be exploring in this month’s Mini-Retreat. 👇

June Mini-Retreat: SELF-LEADERSHIP | Meet Your Inner Leader

Change management may be about checklists and timelines, but change leadership is an inner game. When change starts within us, we can't help but change the systems around us.

This mini-retreat will introduce you to your Inner Leader—the part of you that can observe your reactions, choose your responses and stay grounded when everything around you is shifting. Your Inner Leader is the antidote to autopilot and the opposite of your Inner Critic. Cultivating your Inner Leader allows you to disrupt the old patterns that are no longer serving you and design the new ones that will take you—and your team—forward.

Friday, June 12, 2026​
​7-8:30 p.m. GMT
2-3:30 p.m. ET
11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. PT

Zoom link sent upon registration

Mini-Retreats are free for RadiantChange.co members, who can RSVP here.

This is the work I'm living right alongside you—and I want to hear how it's going for you. Think about the moments coming up this month that will test you: How will you meet them with your Inner Leader rather than on reactive autopilot?

Hit reply and let me know. And, in the meantime, enjoy your practice!

Onward together.

Kristen Lisanti
​Radiant Change​
​How Change (Really) Works